My little man has always been a Momma's Boy when Daddy is around. Once CJ is gone the tables turn, and my cuddly little man only wants his dad. He turns into a little wrecking ball of hate and anger, and it breaks my heart.
I've read all the advice that the one who acts up is the one who needs the most love. Great advice, but it's much harder to follow than their flowery articles make it out to be. How the hell am I supposed to give all my attention to Mr. Hate when me and my daughter are starving and dinner needs made? How do I get homework done with my daughter when he is screaming and grabbing the books from us? What do I do in the mornings when I'm going to be super late for work and he is screaming that he doesn't want to get dressed? How much time and attention do I give him before I'm just letting him be a brat? If you have the answers hold them because I'm going to tell you how I handled this. I probably did it all wrong, but I did it out way.
We will start with this morning. The anger bug bit early, and the happy little guy that was rushing to get ready turned on me. He was standing in my room pantsless yelling that he wasn't going to daycare. I was already pushing being late and was nowhere near ready. No matter wha I did he wasn't giving in. I finally got myself ready, and Little Miss got ready. Once we were dressed it was time to deal with the boy. I dressed him and gave him rushed hugs while rushing him out the door. It was all I had time for, and I was still 15 minutes late.
Kiddo was great when I picked him up from school, but that wasn't going to stay. I'm not sure what did it, but I know it had something to do with wanting the iPad. The answer was no, and hate took over. He likes to call me names when he's mad. It's his stage. So each time he said I was a "Dummy Head" or a "Poo Poo Butt" my response was the something along the lines of "I'm sad that you called me that, but I still love you." After a while of no angry responses, he gives up and moves on to fighting with his sister. 😔
Finally, bedtime was coming which is usually his worst time. Tonight was no different, but Little Miss needs sleep. My decision was to read her a book while he hid under the table and yelled. He came over a few times to try stealing it, but momma's arms are too long for that one. Once she was in bed, I had him all to myself. I snuggled with him on the couch and we talked. He didn't want to FaceTime daddy so we decided to read a couple of the books I got when CJ deployed. My little buddy had the saddest look on his face the whole time, but his hate and anger eased and eventually left. He talked about missing daddy as much as a preschooler can, and now he is sleeping soundly in my bed.
I don't do it perfect. I lose my temper, and I can't always drop everything each time he ha an outburst. I give him what I can in that moment and try my best to keep my cool. I don't blame CJ or myself for our crazy schedules. We are showing our kiddos that it's ok to follow your dreams and aim high. I pray that the good mom moments outweigh the bat crap crazy ones, and that both of my kids know they are loved more than anything in the world.
Side Note: I just stepped in honey. No clue how it got on the floor, but it made me laugh!