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Showing posts from February, 2014

Accepting When I Have no Control

Keeping my head up when things are rough is hard.  I will admit I had a pity party last night, but today I will keep my head up and accept that sometimes things are out of my control. Sometimes no matter how hard I work at something or how much effort I put forth things may not work out in my favor.
Two weeks ago I turned in a resume and letter for promotion to Detective Lieutenant.  I have been a Detective since 2008 with a 1 year leave of absence.  I also have a degree and 2 years of experience as a Patrol Officer.  The other person whom I considered my real competition started in investigations a year after I did, but has about 8 years of experience as a Patrol Officer.  He does not have a degree.  The job title says degree preferred, but experience can be substituted.  I kind of considered us somewhat equal going into the interviews.
Our interview board consists of 5 Lieutenants and a Captain.  We had the questions before hand to work on, and I rocked the interview.  I know I left s…

5 Great Things About Deployment

Yes, CJ's deployment is hard, but there are some positives to it.  Here is my humble list of great things about deployment.

1. Money!  CJ makes more when he is on orders than he does at his full time job.  I'm using this deployment to destroy our credit cards and stash a little money in savings.

2. Less mess.  My husband isn't disgusting, but he leaves a trail.  A soda bottle here, a candy wrapper there.  I don't have those to clean up, and it is so nice.  This also applies to the laundry.  There is so much less when he is gone.

3. No fighting over music.  I can listen to whatever I want whenever I want.  CJ listens to hard rock, and is listen to everything but that.  We typically have to turn off the car radio on any trip to avoid throwing punches.

4. The kids think I'm awesome.  With only one parent they have to forgive me when I have gotten after them.  There isn't the option to be consoled by another parent.  I also get a full year to brain wash them into likin…

My Miscarriage

I remember the feeling like it was yesterday, but it was nearly 5 years ago.  It was a stinging combination of physical pain, emotional pain and failure all wrapped up in one horrible package.  It woke me from my sleep and brought me to tears at 3:30 in the morning.  I woke CJ up, and told him I thought I was having a miscarriage.
CJ told me it was fine, and sat with me for a while while I called the doctor's office.  They told me to go back to sleep and see them in the morning.  Needless to say I didn't sleep. I knew what the pain was.  I had felt it once before, but that time I didn't know I was pregnant until I had already miscarried.  This time it was different.  This time I knew I was pregnant.  I had already seen the little heartbeat.  It was a beautiful little miracle to see a tiny dot beating on the ultrasound.  
When CJ woke up I was bleeding.  He tried his hardest to remain positive, but we both knew what the doctor was going to say.  It was an eerie car ride as we…

The Other Sexual Harassment

I had a conversation the other day with one of our new female officers.  She is a great girl and very eager to learn, but she has been having some problems lately.  Unfortunately they are problems many females in law enforcement face.  It's sexual harassment, but not by her employer or coworkers.  This harassment comes from "The Wives", and it is painful.

Law enforcement is a dysfunctional family.  I love the men I work with like I love my own brothers and uncles.  We have bonded, and we have a lot of shared stories and experiences. I can't explain this bond, and unfortunately many of the wives don't understand it or are jealous of it.  Especially when it comes to female officers.

When I first started I was 22 years old.  I was put on a crew with 3 really great officers who taught me a lot, but they had to be careful.  If they were seen stopped talking to me too much by their wives or wives friends they would hear about it.  If their wives thought they were helpi…

Bombs and Guns and War..So What

I'm not sure if apathy is the right word to describe how I feel about this war since I really do care especially with CJ over there now, but I don't know how else to describe it.  I almost feel as if war and terrorism have been so much a part of my life that CJ being at war is normal.

Maybe it is just me, but is have a feeling that many my age feel the same way.  Our first glimpse of war came as we were starting elementary school in the form of the Persian Gulf War.  Images of air strikes and reporters throwing on gas masks were permanently burned into my young mind.

Next was the Battle of Mogadishu.  I was in third grade, and I remember the pictures of the American Soldiers' corpses as they were dragged through the streets of a foreign country.  I remember the pictures of Mike Durante beaten, but alive.  I remember it was war.  It was horrible, but normal.

When I think of terrorism on American Soil there is not one image that pops into my mind.  There are a slew of images…

Deployment Book Review Part Two

I missed two books in my earlier post, and editing on an iPad is a major pain.  Both of these books are really good which is why I am taking the time to make sure they are added.

Hero Dad by Melinda Hardin
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0761457135/ref=oh_details_o01_s01_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
My kids like the idea of superheroes like most kids do.  This book compares what superheroes do and have to what their daddy does and has.  Like how their daddy doesn't have x-Ray vision, but he does have night vision.  I like it because the kids get to see what kinds of things soldiers have and do while deployed.

My Dad's a Hero by Rebecca Christiansen and Jewel Armstrong
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1595712097/ref=oh_details_o02_s01_i03?ie=UTF8&psc=1
While not as good as Hero Dad, I'm glad I have this one in the collection.  My daughter isn't much of a fan, but my son and I both like it.  I need to do a little cleaning and figure out where this one has run off to so I can…

Deployment Book Review

My kids LOVE books.  They are everywhere in our house, and I can't even count how many we read before bedtime on any given night.  I figure one can not ever read too many books.  With that in mind, I decided to write a small review of the deployment books I have for my kids.  These are all books aimed at preschool age kids or around that age group.

Daddy's Boots by Sandra Linhart
http://www.amazon.com/Daddys-Boots-Sandra-Miller-Linhart/dp/0984512705/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391374997&sr=8-1&keywords=Daddy%27s+boots
This book is amazing for little kids.  It talks about how Boots have to take Daddy away, and other jobs where people wear boots.  I have probably read this every night this past week.

Night Catch by Brenda Ehrmantraut
http://www.amazon.com/Night-Catch-Brenda-Ehrmantraut/dp/0972983392/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391375217&sr=8-1&keywords=Night+catch
This is another book that I highly suggest.  My son thinks it's ok, but my daughter loves it.  Sh…