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How do You do it?

How do I do it?  I get asked this more than I get asked how I'm doing.  I think it is because people are afraid I'm just going to break down and sob.

I find the question funny.  How would I not do it?  This is my situation.  I'm alone with my kiddos while my husband is at war.  I don't have time to break down or feel sorry for myself.  I don't have time to drink my worries away.  I typically only finish about half a glass of wine between all my distractions.

Tonight I'm sitting on the one couch that isn't covered in unfolded laundry with my back purposely facing away from my sink full of dirty dishes.  I guess that's how I do it.  I don't stress the small stuff.  I will get to it eventually.....maybe, but I know my limits.  I'm exhausted, and I need to sit this evening.

I do it by not doing everything, and being content with not being perfect.  I still push myself to the very limits of my physical and emotional capabilities, but I know when to stop.  I know that tonight dishes and laundry won't get done.  I'm sure there are I some who would judge and say my pool time with the kids today could have been used better, but I beg to differ.  They only have one parent.  If I have to choose between wrinkles in my clothes or ignored kiddos I choose wrinkles every time!

My advice to anyone feeling the pressures of being the perfect wife, mom and employee during a deployment is to give up.  Don't give it all up, but know that you're not perfect.  Those that are expecting a sparkling house, clean and well behaved kids at all times and tons of overtime at work are living in a dream.  When you give up your spouse for a year or more you have to give up on a few other things as well.  I'm not advocating for living in filth, never bathing your children and quitting your job.  I'm just advising you should keep things in perspective. Know what is important and what isn't, and don't let yourself get too run down especially in the beginning.  That's how I do it.


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