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Bombs and Guns and War..So What

I'm not sure if apathy is the right word to describe how I feel about this war since I really do care especially with CJ over there now, but I don't know how else to describe it.  I almost feel as if war and terrorism have been so much a part of my life that CJ being at war is normal.

Maybe it is just me, but is have a feeling that many my age feel the same way.  Our first glimpse of war came as we were starting elementary school in the form of the Persian Gulf War.  Images of air strikes and reporters throwing on gas masks were permanently burned into my young mind.

Next was the Battle of Mogadishu.  I was in third grade, and I remember the pictures of the American Soldiers' corpses as they were dragged through the streets of a foreign country.  I remember the pictures of Mike Durante beaten, but alive.  I remember it was war.  It was horrible, but normal.

When I think of terrorism on American Soil there is not one image that pops into my mind.  There are a slew of images as far back as I can remember.  I was born during the reign of the Unabomber.  I remember the first World Trade Center attack, the bombing of the Federal Building and the Olympic Park bombing. For me these aren't just memories; they are my life.

I can't recall a time where there was prolonged peace.  I can't recall a time when there weren't reports of soldiers dying or bombings.  This is different from my mom's generation.  She was born too late to remember the Viet Nam war.  The first major US military actions my mom remembers were Grenada, and she was in her late 20's pregnant with yours truely.  I was born while troops were in Grenada.  Like I said, my entire life has been war or terrorism.

Everyone remembers where they were on September 11, 2001. I was in high school.  My senior year. As our class sat around the television watching the towers fall there was an eerie silence. It was more than just anger or sadness over what we were seeing.  It was a silence of fear as we looked at our classmates wondering who would have to fight in this war.  It was our silent acceptance of what we already knew from growing up when we did.  There would be war, people would get hurt and people would die.  This war would be our war to fight and not simply watch as we had the pleasure of doing in the past.

So today as my husbands is in Afghanistan I sit in a similar silence.  I long ago accepted wars happen, and young men will have to fight them.  Tonight I sit in the silence of fear wondering if this will become the normal for my children as well.  I am the oldest of those who have grown up with war as the normal.  I pray that my children will be the beginning of change.  I pray that they will grow up without the conflict I have grown up with.  I pray that they will not have a so what attitude towards guns, bombs and war.

Comments

  1. Honest share appreciated, I can understand what you mean being my daughter comments similar things at times. How this is almost normal life to some degree. I pray it isn't and that we don't allow ourselves to get comfortable in that mindset but it is wonderful you can write about your journey with it, thank you :)

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