The Not So Army Wife

I recently read an article by Rebecca Rose on http://rockfordparent.com.  Her article was entitled You know you are a working mom when..... I'm not so into her list.  It is far too negative for me so here is my own list. You know you're a working mom when..... You set really high goals for yourself, and you demand the best of yourself every day as a wife, mother, professional and friend.  You may have days where you can't be everything to everyone, but you have expertly learned to prioritize and make sure your goals are eventually met and all needs are met as they arise. You know you're a working mom when.... You feel like you have to complete a marathon in sprint pace every morning.  (This I agree with her on).  Mornings are tough, and it seems like no matter how early I get up a curveball is thrown and I'm late.  Oh well...better luck tomorrow.  I also know this will change drastically when CJ is home from deployment.  A little help with d...

As any military member or spouse or anyone in law enforcement or their spouses will tell you our mortality is not taken for granted.  I am not only a military wife, I am a Trooper's wife and a Detective.  I haven't had any close calls nor have I lost any of my coworkers, but the shots fired calls have been all too close at times.  There have been many times where I was keenly aware of the fact that I was not invincible yet I didn't let it bother me too much. It wasn't until 2011 when I realized just how fragile life is.  That was when a coworker my age was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of leukemia.  Although he fought, he understood this was not a battle he would likely win so he made a bucket list.  He got to do some of the things on his bucket list including a Boston Red Sox gam, but his cancer spread too quickly for him to do everything on the list.  I almost cried when we learned the Red Sox were footing the bill for him and his wife to g...

I have squirrels!  At least that is what CJ calls them.  My "squirrels" are a direct result of my ADHD.  Every time I bounce completely unexpectedly to a new topic it is a squirrel.  Think of the dog in the movie up. I like calling them squirrels instead of ADHD.  It sounds so clinical and so negative.  Because of my squirrels I am a random person.  I have a vivid imagination, and I am really smart.  When your mind never stops you take in all sorts of things.  Granted I may have spaced off something important and retained a lot of insignificant crap, but I still know a lot of stuff. I was formally diagnosed when I was 28, and I have recently started taking medications.  I don't see this as giving up, but more as a way of controlling some of the less than desirable side effects of my squirrels.  I realized with everything going on in my life I needed to be able to concentrate a bit more. Someone asked me what differences...

Keeping my head up when things are rough is hard.  I will admit I had a pity party last night, but today I will keep my head up and accept that sometimes things are out of my control. Sometimes no matter how hard I work at something or how much effort I put forth things may not work out in my favor. Two weeks ago I turned in a resume and letter for promotion to Detective Lieutenant.  I have been a Detective since 2008 with a 1 year leave of absence.  I also have a degree and 2 years of experience as a Patrol Officer.  The other person whom I considered my real competition started in investigations a year after I did, but has about 8 years of experience as a Patrol Officer.  He does not have a degree.  The job title says degree preferred, but experience can be substituted.  I kind of considered us somewhat equal going into the interviews. Our interview board consists of 5 Lieutenants and a Captain.  We had the questions before hand to work...

Yes, CJ's deployment is hard, but there are some positives to it.  Here is my humble list of great things about deployment. 1. Money!  CJ makes more when he is on orders than he does at his full time job.  I'm using this deployment to destroy our credit cards and stash a little money in savings. 2. Less mess.  My husband isn't disgusting, but he leaves a trail.  A soda bottle here, a candy wrapper there.  I don't have those to clean up, and it is so nice.  This also applies to the laundry.  There is so much less when he is gone. 3.  No fighting over music.  I can listen to whatever I want whenever I want.  CJ listens to hard rock, and is listen to everything but that.  We typically have to turn off the car radio on any trip to avoid throwing punches. 4. The kids think I'm awesome.  With only one parent they have to forgive me when I have gotten after them.  There isn't the option to be consoled by another pare...

I remember the feeling like it was yesterday, but it was nearly 5 years ago.  It was a stinging combination of physical pain, emotional pain and failure all wrapped up in one horrible package.  It woke me from my sleep and brought me to tears at 3:30 in the morning.  I woke CJ up, and told him I thought I was having a miscarriage. CJ told me it was fine, and sat with me for a while while I called the doctor's office.  They told me to go back to sleep and see them in the morning.  Needless to say I didn't sleep. I knew what the pain was.  I had felt it once before, but that time I didn't know I was pregnant until I had already miscarried.  This time it was different.  This time I knew I was pregnant.  I had already seen the little heartbeat.  It was a beautiful little miracle to see a tiny dot beating on the ultrasound.   When CJ woke up I was bleeding.  He tried his hardest to remain positive, but we both knew what the...

I had a conversation the other day with one of our new female officers.  She is a great girl and very eager to learn, but she has been having some problems lately.  Unfortunately they are problems many females in law enforcement face.  It's sexual harassment, but not by her employer or coworkers.  This harassment comes from "The Wives", and it is painful. Law enforcement is a dysfunctional family.  I love the men I work with like I love my own brothers and uncles.  We have bonded, and we have a lot of shared stories and experiences. I can't explain this bond, and unfortunately many of the wives don't understand it or are jealous of it.  Especially when it comes to female officers. When I first started I was 22 years old.  I was put on a crew with 3 really great officers who taught me a lot, but they had to be careful.  If they were seen stopped talking to me too much by their wives or wives friends they would hear about it.  If their...