The Not So Army Wife

As I write tonight we have all learned that the US just bombed Syria. For many Americans this means relentless news coverage of the destruction to buildings and occasional heartfelt peices about military families. For those of us who love a soldier it means fear. Constant and sometimes debilitating fear. Whether your soldier is sitting on the couch next to you or at an unknown location across the ocean, when news like this hits you panic. Your mind goes to every place it shouldn't and you always think the worst. You plan for every twist and turn that any new conflict no matter how big or small will cause. You worry not only about your soldier but about the other soldiers and families you have met along the way. For me, each time I hear of a helicopter crash I listen intently for the names. I pray there isn't one I recognize. My stomach churns and my mind won't stop thinking about it until I know that my soldiers are safe. This may be one of the few ways I am like the ty...

My house is crazy. Sometimes it's fun crazy and sometimes it's dinner is still on the table at midnight crazy. Crazy is exciting most of the time, but crazy can also be stressful. Last month was mostly dinner on the table at midnight crazy. It was stressful and hectic and ever changing. I will rewind to around June. CJ was told he would be going to another training. This time it would be around 3 months long, and he would leave in October. Hahahahaha. Funny joke Army. October came and the training was pushed to November then late January. Once January rolled around it was pushed back again to the end of March. Now that history is been given, I present you with the dumpster fire (fun phrase that one should not use in a work meeting to describe how a case is progressing) that was last month. Once March hit CJ's commander decided he NEEDED him in the state, and the powers that be were convinced to pull him from the training. This was bad since the training also put CJ in a...

How do I do it?  I get asked this more than I get asked how I'm doing.  I think it is because people are afraid I'm just going to break down and sob. I find the question funny.  How would I not do it?  This is my situation.  I'm alone with my kiddos while my husband is at war.  I don't have time to break down or feel sorry for myself.  I don't have time to drink my worries away.  I typically only finish about half a glass of wine between all my distractions. Tonight I'm sitting on the one couch that isn't covered in unfolded laundry with my back purposely facing away from my sink full of dirty dishes.  I guess that's how I do it.  I don't stress the small stuff.  I will get to it eventually.....maybe, but I know my limits.  I'm exhausted, and I need to sit this evening. I do it by not doing everything, and being content with not being perfect.  I still push myself to the very limits of my physical and emotional capab...

I recently read an article by Rebecca Rose on http://rockfordparent.com.  Her article was entitled You know you are a working mom when..... I'm not so into her list.  It is far too negative for me so here is my own list. You know you're a working mom when..... You set really high goals for yourself, and you demand the best of yourself every day as a wife, mother, professional and friend.  You may have days where you can't be everything to everyone, but you have expertly learned to prioritize and make sure your goals are eventually met and all needs are met as they arise. You know you're a working mom when.... You feel like you have to complete a marathon in sprint pace every morning.  (This I agree with her on).  Mornings are tough, and it seems like no matter how early I get up a curveball is thrown and I'm late.  Oh well...better luck tomorrow.  I also know this will change drastically when CJ is home from deployment.  A little help with d...

I have squirrels!  At least that is what CJ calls them.  My "squirrels" are a direct result of my ADHD.  Every time I bounce completely unexpectedly to a new topic it is a squirrel.  Think of the dog in the movie up. I like calling them squirrels instead of ADHD.  It sounds so clinical and so negative.  Because of my squirrels I am a random person.  I have a vivid imagination, and I am really smart.  When your mind never stops you take in all sorts of things.  Granted I may have spaced off something important and retained a lot of insignificant crap, but I still know a lot of stuff. I was formally diagnosed when I was 28, and I have recently started taking medications.  I don't see this as giving up, but more as a way of controlling some of the less than desirable side effects of my squirrels.  I realized with everything going on in my life I needed to be able to concentrate a bit more. Someone asked me what differences...

Yes, CJ's deployment is hard, but there are some positives to it.  Here is my humble list of great things about deployment. 1. Money!  CJ makes more when he is on orders than he does at his full time job.  I'm using this deployment to destroy our credit cards and stash a little money in savings. 2. Less mess.  My husband isn't disgusting, but he leaves a trail.  A soda bottle here, a candy wrapper there.  I don't have those to clean up, and it is so nice.  This also applies to the laundry.  There is so much less when he is gone. 3.  No fighting over music.  I can listen to whatever I want whenever I want.  CJ listens to hard rock, and is listen to everything but that.  We typically have to turn off the car radio on any trip to avoid throwing punches. 4. The kids think I'm awesome.  With only one parent they have to forgive me when I have gotten after them.  There isn't the option to be consoled by another pare...

I missed two books in my earlier post, and editing on an iPad is a major pain.  Both of these books are really good which is why I am taking the time to make sure they are added. Hero Dad by Melinda Hardin http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0761457135/ref=oh_details_o01_s01_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 My kids like the idea of superheroes like most kids do.  This book compares what superheroes do and have to what their daddy does and has.  Like how their daddy doesn't have x-Ray vision, but he does have night vision.  I like it because the kids get to see what kinds of things soldiers have and do while deployed. My Dad's a Hero by Rebecca Christiansen and Jewel Armstrong http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1595712097/ref=oh_details_o02_s01_i03?ie=UTF8&psc=1 While not as good as Hero Dad , I'm glad I have this one in the collection.  My daughter isn't much of a fan, but my son and I both like it.  I need to do a little cleaning and figure out where this on...

My kids LOVE books.  They are everywhere in our house, and I can't even count how many we read before bedtime on any given night.  I figure one can not ever read too many books.  With that in mind, I decided to write a small review of the deployment books I have for my kids.  These are all books aimed at preschool age kids or around that age group. Daddy's Boots by Sandra Linhart http://www.amazon.com/Daddys-Boots-Sandra-Miller-Linhart/dp/0984512705/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391374997&sr=8-1&keywords=Daddy%27s+boots This book is amazing for little kids.  It talks about how Boots have to take Daddy away, and other jobs where people wear boots.  I have probably read this every night this past week. Night Catch by Brenda Ehrmantraut http://www.amazon.com/Night-Catch-Brenda-Ehrmantraut/dp/0972983392/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391375217&sr=8-1&keywords=Night+catch This is another book that I highly suggest.  My son thinks it's o...