Skip to main content

Fear

As I write tonight we have all learned that the US just bombed Syria. For many Americans this means relentless news coverage of the destruction to buildings and occasional heartfelt peices about military families. For those of us who love a soldier it means fear. Constant and sometimes debilitating fear.

Whether your soldier is sitting on the couch next to you or at an unknown location across the ocean, when news like this hits you panic. Your mind goes to every place it shouldn't and you always think the worst. You plan for every twist and turn that any new conflict no matter how big or small will cause. You worry not only about your soldier but about the other soldiers and families you have met along the way. For me, each time I hear of a helicopter crash I listen intently for the names. I pray there isn't one I recognize. My stomach churns and my mind won't stop thinking about it until I know that my soldiers are safe.

This may be one of the few ways I am like the typical military wife. No matter how strong we are, no matter how prepared we are and no matter how much we try to push it aside we all fear the unknowns in our future. We all fear having to console one of our friends while they mourn, and fear can't even begin to describe the emotions we feel when we think of the impossible happening to our husband.

Today I know that CJ is safe at training. I know he isn't on his way to Syria, but I also know that things change with the snap of the finger in the military. I know that he could get home from his cushy training only to have to turn around and leave again. What I don't know is how I make it through another year without him if he gets deployed. I don't know how I can continue my career and care for my kiddos through another deployment. I don't know if he and all of the other soldiers I know and love would make it back this time. All of those unknowns add up to one thing. Mind numbing, and ever present fear.

To those of you who don't have loved ones in the military I ask that you please be patient with those of us that do. Just because our soldier is home or somewhere safe today doesn't mean that we are in the clear. Please understand that each time news of an attack or new conflict breaks, we have to face the ugly facts that our life could be in for some dramatic changes. We need a little more time to absorb what we have heard, and plan how it could affect us no matter where our soldier is at the time the news breaks. If we don't want to talk about it, please leave us alone. If we do talk about our fears, please don't push them aside as being overly worried. Many of us have been through this before, and we know how something little can have a monumental impact on our lives. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Other Sexual Harassment

I had a conversation the other day with one of our new female officers.  She is a great girl and very eager to learn, but she has been having some problems lately.  Unfortunately they are problems many females in law enforcement face.  It's sexual harassment, but not by her employer or coworkers.  This harassment comes from "The Wives", and it is painful. Law enforcement is a dysfunctional family.  I love the men I work with like I love my own brothers and uncles.  We have bonded, and we have a lot of shared stories and experiences. I can't explain this bond, and unfortunately many of the wives don't understand it or are jealous of it.  Especially when it comes to female officers. When I first started I was 22 years old.  I was put on a crew with 3 really great officers who taught me a lot, but they had to be careful.  If they were seen stopped talking to me too much by their wives or wives friends they would hear about it.  If their...

I'm a Hypocrite

That's right folks.  I'm a great big hypocrite.  I have been so absorbed in my life and my worries over the last few years that I have forgotten about others.  One of my posts from earlier talked about a friend who wasn't there for me when she said she would be.  It hurt me, but I realized today that I have not been an emotional support to others much either. I had a friend in college, Amy.  She was a beautiful girl, but struggled with her self esteem.  It hurt me to watch her in her struggle, but I had no clue how to help.  I was young and immature. I should have just given Amy a hug and told her how amazing she was.  I didn't let her know that our friendship was what was important to me.  Only one time was I there for her when she needed, and that was only because someone had to call and tell me she needed me.  I got a call from our cheerleading coach in the middle of the night.  Amy was threatening to kill herself.  I ...

5 Great Things About Deployment

Yes, CJ's deployment is hard, but there are some positives to it.  Here is my humble list of great things about deployment. 1. Money!  CJ makes more when he is on orders than he does at his full time job.  I'm using this deployment to destroy our credit cards and stash a little money in savings. 2. Less mess.  My husband isn't disgusting, but he leaves a trail.  A soda bottle here, a candy wrapper there.  I don't have those to clean up, and it is so nice.  This also applies to the laundry.  There is so much less when he is gone. 3.  No fighting over music.  I can listen to whatever I want whenever I want.  CJ listens to hard rock, and is listen to everything but that.  We typically have to turn off the car radio on any trip to avoid throwing punches. 4. The kids think I'm awesome.  With only one parent they have to forgive me when I have gotten after them.  There isn't the option to be consoled by another pare...