Skip to main content

Fear

As I write tonight we have all learned that the US just bombed Syria. For many Americans this means relentless news coverage of the destruction to buildings and occasional heartfelt peices about military families. For those of us who love a soldier it means fear. Constant and sometimes debilitating fear.

Whether your soldier is sitting on the couch next to you or at an unknown location across the ocean, when news like this hits you panic. Your mind goes to every place it shouldn't and you always think the worst. You plan for every twist and turn that any new conflict no matter how big or small will cause. You worry not only about your soldier but about the other soldiers and families you have met along the way. For me, each time I hear of a helicopter crash I listen intently for the names. I pray there isn't one I recognize. My stomach churns and my mind won't stop thinking about it until I know that my soldiers are safe.

This may be one of the few ways I am like the typical military wife. No matter how strong we are, no matter how prepared we are and no matter how much we try to push it aside we all fear the unknowns in our future. We all fear having to console one of our friends while they mourn, and fear can't even begin to describe the emotions we feel when we think of the impossible happening to our husband.

Today I know that CJ is safe at training. I know he isn't on his way to Syria, but I also know that things change with the snap of the finger in the military. I know that he could get home from his cushy training only to have to turn around and leave again. What I don't know is how I make it through another year without him if he gets deployed. I don't know how I can continue my career and care for my kiddos through another deployment. I don't know if he and all of the other soldiers I know and love would make it back this time. All of those unknowns add up to one thing. Mind numbing, and ever present fear.

To those of you who don't have loved ones in the military I ask that you please be patient with those of us that do. Just because our soldier is home or somewhere safe today doesn't mean that we are in the clear. Please understand that each time news of an attack or new conflict breaks, we have to face the ugly facts that our life could be in for some dramatic changes. We need a little more time to absorb what we have heard, and plan how it could affect us no matter where our soldier is at the time the news breaks. If we don't want to talk about it, please leave us alone. If we do talk about our fears, please don't push them aside as being overly worried. Many of us have been through this before, and we know how something little can have a monumental impact on our lives. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I'm a Hypocrite

That's right folks.  I'm a great big hypocrite.  I have been so absorbed in my life and my worries over the last few years that I have forgotten about others.  One of my posts from earlier talked about a friend who wasn't there for me when she said she would be.  It hurt me, but I realized today that I have not been an emotional support to others much either. I had a friend in college, Amy.  She was a beautiful girl, but struggled with her self esteem.  It hurt me to watch her in her struggle, but I had no clue how to help.  I was young and immature. I should have just given Amy a hug and told her how amazing she was.  I didn't let her know that our friendship was what was important to me.  Only one time was I there for her when she needed, and that was only because someone had to call and tell me she needed me.  I got a call from our cheerleading coach in the middle of the night.  Amy was threatening to kill herself.  I ...

Rolling with the Punches

I've gotten pretty good at rolling with the punches.  I've had a lot of ups and downs in life.  This deployment has shown me a handful more, but not much could prepare me for what I learned on Thursday.  It rocked me to the point of tears which does not typically happen.  I cried in front of coworkers for the first time ever. I had been at work for a mere 2 hours when CJ asked me if we could FaceTime.  I knew it was going to be bad since he wanted to tell me as close to face to face as possible.  I found a quiet room and quickly called.  The news that followed made me want to puke.  His unit is being reassigned.  Instead of coming home in August they will go to Kuwait.  There is no word on what exactly they will do from there, and more importantly no word on when they will be home.  They may be released when their original orders are up in October, but there is a highly probable chance their orders will be extended.  This ...

The War That Never Ends

Sometimes the war is never over, and that is exactly how I feel right now. It has been almost 7 months since CJ has gotten home, and a lot of the time it is great. The other times it's dreadful. He is distant and angry. I never know what will set him off so I spend my time avoiding him. It's like we are still living our deployment lives, but in the same house. I'm living on an island and my husband is only a visitor. Some days he is a welcome guest full of laughs and love. Other times he is an invader. His presence is a disruption, and his outbursts of anger keep even our preschoolers on edge. It's not that h is unaware of it, but his awareness isn't enough. While I appreciate the apologies it doesn't make life around here any easier. Since he has gotten back, it seems like CJ can't handle stress. If he gets more than one thing on his plate his world comes to a screeching halt. When he was gone all he had to worry about was the war. He was a soldier and ...