Skip to main content

Yep...He's Home

I would love to write something heartfelt and beautiful about the almost 3 months that C.J. has been home.  I can't.  It's not because things have gone horribly wrong since he has been home.  It has been great.  I'm just emotionally drained.  I don't know how to put into words what our lives have been like.

It was amazing when the kids ran to him in the armory.  I can't even begin to describe the smiles on everyones' faces.  Then the kids started getting a bit crabby because they were hungry so off to Subway we went.  The honeymoon was over, and life together began again.

We are both back at work.  I went back 4 days after he got home, and C.J. went back after being home for a mere 11 days.  We kind of never slow down.  I don't know if I could function if I wasn't going at full speed nearly all the time, and C.J. is worse than I am.

So that's it.  I'm sure it sounds like I'm not happy to have him back or that I don't really love him.  The reality is that between C.J., the kids and work there is no emotion left to write.  I finally have my husband back to use as a soundboard.  This isn't the last of The Not So Army Wife, but, as is apparent from the previous break, there will probably be fewer posts with more time between them.  I won't write meaningless posts just to put words on a page. So, until something inspiring hits, enjoy what's already up here and find other great blogs to read!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I'm a Hypocrite

That's right folks.  I'm a great big hypocrite.  I have been so absorbed in my life and my worries over the last few years that I have forgotten about others.  One of my posts from earlier talked about a friend who wasn't there for me when she said she would be.  It hurt me, but I realized today that I have not been an emotional support to others much either. I had a friend in college, Amy.  She was a beautiful girl, but struggled with her self esteem.  It hurt me to watch her in her struggle, but I had no clue how to help.  I was young and immature. I should have just given Amy a hug and told her how amazing she was.  I didn't let her know that our friendship was what was important to me.  Only one time was I there for her when she needed, and that was only because someone had to call and tell me she needed me.  I got a call from our cheerleading coach in the middle of the night.  Amy was threatening to kill herself.  I ...
2 comments
Read more

Rolling with the Punches

I've gotten pretty good at rolling with the punches.  I've had a lot of ups and downs in life.  This deployment has shown me a handful more, but not much could prepare me for what I learned on Thursday.  It rocked me to the point of tears which does not typically happen.  I cried in front of coworkers for the first time ever. I had been at work for a mere 2 hours when CJ asked me if we could FaceTime.  I knew it was going to be bad since he wanted to tell me as close to face to face as possible.  I found a quiet room and quickly called.  The news that followed made me want to puke.  His unit is being reassigned.  Instead of coming home in August they will go to Kuwait.  There is no word on what exactly they will do from there, and more importantly no word on when they will be home.  They may be released when their original orders are up in October, but there is a highly probable chance their orders will be extended.  This ...
1 comment
Read more

The War That Never Ends

Sometimes the war is never over, and that is exactly how I feel right now. It has been almost 7 months since CJ has gotten home, and a lot of the time it is great. The other times it's dreadful. He is distant and angry. I never know what will set him off so I spend my time avoiding him. It's like we are still living our deployment lives, but in the same house. I'm living on an island and my husband is only a visitor. Some days he is a welcome guest full of laughs and love. Other times he is an invader. His presence is a disruption, and his outbursts of anger keep even our preschoolers on edge. It's not that h is unaware of it, but his awareness isn't enough. While I appreciate the apologies it doesn't make life around here any easier. Since he has gotten back, it seems like CJ can't handle stress. If he gets more than one thing on his plate his world comes to a screeching halt. When he was gone all he had to worry about was the war. He was a soldier and ...
1 comment
Read more